Counselling at Victoria School

What is counselling?

Counselling is a process that focuses on enhancing the emotional, behavioural and psychological well-being of the client, such that the client is then able to reach their full potential. This is achieved by the counsellor facilitating your personal growth, development, and self-understanding, which in turn empowers you to adopt more constructive life practices.

Counselling may be helpful in a number of ways. It can enable you to develop a clearer understanding of your concerns and help you acquire new skills to better manage personal and educational issues. The counsellor can offer a different perspective and help you think of creative solutions to problems. Sharing your thoughts and feelings with someone not personally involved in your life can be most helpful.

If you need to speak with a counsellor, kindly call the General Office at 6291 2965 for assistance.

Stress Management Tips
Tips from Student Care Services
1. Be well-prepared. Maintain a steady pace.
2. Accept your strengths and limitations.
3. Manage your expectations. Set realistic goals.
4. Focus on the present, not the past.
5. Keep a positive attitude. Be willing to face life’s challenges and always try to do your best.
6. Maintain adequate exercise, rest and nutrition.
7. Talk about your stress with friends, trusted adults, school counsellors or teacher counsellors.

Stress is a fact of life but being stressed out is not. Being overly anxious is not just a mental hazard; it’s a physical one too. Here are some alternatives to managing stress. Read on and relax.

Start a stress journal
A stress journal can help you identify the regular stressors in your life and the way you deal with them. Each time you feel stressed, take note and keep track of it in your journal. As you start to keep a daily log, you will be able to see patterns and common themes. Write down:
• What caused your stress? (Make a guess even if you are unsure)
• How did you feel? (Physically and emotionally)
• What was your response?
• What did you do to help yourself feel better?

Look at how you cope with stress
Think about the ways you currently manage and cope with stress in your life. Your stress journal will help you identify them. Ask yourself if your coping strategies are healthy or unhealthy, helpful or unproductive?

Unhealthy ways of coping with stress include:
• Zoning out for hours in front of the TV/computer
• Withdrawing from friends, family and activities
• Procrastinating
• Sleeping too much
• Taking out your stress on others (throwing tantrums, angry outbursts, resorting to violence)

Adapted from helpguide.org

Healthy ways of dealing with stressful situations:

1. Deep Breathing
To breathe deeply, begin by putting your hand on your abdomen just below the navel. Inhale slowly through your nose and watch your hand move out as your belly expands. Hold the breath for a few seconds, exhale slowly. Repeat several times.
2. Visualize Calm
Close your eyes, take three long, slow breaths, and spend a few seconds picturing a relaxing scene, such as walking in the park or lying on the beach. Focus on the details - the sights, the sounds, the smells.
3. Compose a Mantra
Think of an affirmation - a short, clear, positive statement that focuses on your coping abilities. Affirmations are a good way to silence the self-critical voice we all carry with us that only adds to our stress. For example, the next time you feel immense pressure, repeat 10 times, “I feel calm. I can handle this.”
4. Put It on Paper
Writing provides perspective. Divide a piece of paper into two parts. On the left side, list the stressors you may be able to change, and on the right, list the ones you can’t. Change what you can and refrain from focusing on what you cannot change.
5. Count to 10
Before you say or do something you will regret, step away from the stressor and collect yourself. Use your time-out to take a few deep breaths, do a slow count of 1 to 10, stretch, or recite an affirmation.
6. Just Say No
Trying to do everything is a one-way ticket to serious stress. Be aware of your limits and stop trying to please everyone all the time.
7. Admit It
Each of us has uniquely individual stress signals - neck or shoulder pain, shallow breathing, stammering, teeth gritting, loss of temper. Learn to identify yours, then say out loud, “I’m feeling stressed,” when they crop up. Recognizing your personal stress signals helps slow the build-up of negativity and anxiety.
8. Take a Walk
It forces you to breathe more deeply and improves circulation. Step outside if you can; if that is not possible, you can gain many of the same benefits simply by walking to the bathroom or outside your home.
9. Confide in a Friend
Sharing your troubles can give you perspective, help you feel cared for, and relieve your burden.

Before the Exam
Study Habits
• Pay attention during lessons
• Submit assignments on time
• Revise and study regularly
• Seek to clarify when in doubt
Study Skills
• Prepare a study timetable
• Be familiar with exams format
• Have a break in-between study
• When stressed, talk to someone
Sound Body
• Have enough sleep
• Eat well
• Exercise
During Exams
Stay Calm
• Do relaxation exercises (deep breathing)
• Have internal dialogue (“I’ve studied. I’ll do my best.”)
Stay Focused
• Read all instructions carefully
• Read all questions mindfully
• Attempt easy questions first
• Write legibly and neatly
• Check all answers
After Exams
• If you’ve done well, be thankful! CELEBRATE!
• If you’ve not done well, talk to your teachers, parents or school counsellor
• Share how you feel - identify your mistakes, reflect on what you can do to improve
• Be gracious to and patient with yourself
• Give yourself a second chance - take steps to study better

This checklist can be used to help us in our exam preparations.

Exams preparation checklist
Organizing your space
• Think about where you can study best. Your study environment should be comfortable (not too cold, hot or noisy) for you.
• Separate your “studying” space from your “relaxing” place so that you can concentrate and keep away distractions.
Organizing your time
• Make a list of what you have to study. Make a tick against each item once you have completed, so you know what you have achieved.
• Draw up a revision schedule. Be realistic about how much you can achieve.
Becoming motivated
• Establish a work routine. Follow your schedule consistently.
• Start with the easier or more interesting subjects.
• Reward yourself when you meet your revision targets by doing something you enjoy.
• Have a good study buddy to motivate each other.
Improving concentration
• Take short breaks when tired. Go for a stroll or jog to de-stress.
Write it down. Written goals have a way of transforming wishes into wants; can’t into can; dreams into plans; and plans into reality.

Exam Tips for Parents
It’s Examinations Time!
Parents…
• Believe in your child; emphasise on his/her strengths
• Encourage your child to give his/her best|
• Treasure the process of learning, not just focus on the results
• Help your child develop a structure and routine for studying
• Expect realistically what your child is capable of; help him/her experience success
• Recognise the symptoms of stress/anxiety and address them
• Emphathise with your child regarding the challenges he/she is facing